she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
