Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
