You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
