I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
