I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
