Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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