everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
