If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
