Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
