Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
