Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
