she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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