Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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