i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
