Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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