I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
