I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
