I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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