Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize