Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize