left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
