After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
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everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
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NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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