I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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