He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
