was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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