We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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