so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
