I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
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Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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