He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
