In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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