omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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