see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
tell me about the eggs
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