I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
