I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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