Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
