this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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