clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize