I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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