Already got asked if we're dating
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
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I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
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How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My ass is underappreciated
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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