I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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