Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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