Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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