Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we're making bets on your personal life
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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