Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
