Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize