I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
