The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's no shave November. This is our time.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
