Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
