tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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