Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ladies don't puke and tell
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
