you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
