a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
