so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
