Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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