Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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