He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
