Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
