don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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