just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
