so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
