Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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