That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
